One of Seven: a Loving Parody

Hi y'all! I'm watching an American programme, hence the expression "y'all" - there are some Texans in it. Anyway, a little birdy told me it was National Book Week, and while I have as yet been unable to verify whether it is indeed this week or I've missed it by a couple, I made a rash promise on facebook that I have come here to fulfil. And that rash promise was as follows: I intend to review, parody, or precis, in 200 words or less, seven books over the week.

Now, I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Goodness knows it's hard enough for me to keep anything to 200 words or less, even a birthday card message. But, a promise is a promise, so here we go: my first effort. This is a loving parody of the work of one of my very favourite authors, and I'm cheating slightly by taking it from something I wrote during my time at uni; however, I promise everything else will be original! You might enjoy guessing who it is and what book is specifically referenced (I'll give you a clue: VW), but please don't tell on me if I go over my word limit...

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Do I have an R to reach? Amber ponders the questions, thinks of Mr. Ramsay's life, how 'the father of eight children has no choice,' how his family has disrupted his career, how he needs constant reassurance that what he has given the world already is of some value, how he is determined and yet unable to attain the next letter. She already has G, and L: I have an F, she thinks, if only I can do this essay and the next one and the next one and so on at a good enough standard... and I probably almost have an M, she thinks next (if things must be sequential, but in reality she would rather have the M though it isn't meant to come first) as Stanley in his oversized tuxedo once more comes into her mind and she smiles, smiles and plays with her ring. Oh, and then I suppose C, the big C which all women are supposed to be after these days, and B, what most of us instinctively want even though it disrupts C, and goodness knows what else - must I have it all in mind now? Can't I let G, which after all came first, determine the rest? And right now - right now, she ponders, as the room grows steadily darker though it's only three in the afternon (and the essay due at eleven tomorrow!); right now, she puts her little finger in her mouth, turns her head and reads, 'vanity and self-sacrifice'; 'marriage pressure'; 'unity, absorption; right now, this is what I need. I need E. I need E! On to E, once more. E...